Note: I have changed some details in this story, but for no particular reason. All the quotes used are verbatim.
As I mentioned before, I keep a Google-email address which is virtually my first name (plus one extra letter). As a consequence, I sometimes get messages that are not intended for me. Today's was probably the best so far.
I received an email from "Mature Mate Meeting" (not its real name), thanking me for registering with the website. How peculiar, since I had not registered with the site and indeed had never even heard of such a website. It must be, I imagined, given the name, a place for the more mature members of society to encounter personable companions for intellectual conversation and discourse, in an environment separate from the migraine inducing flashing colours that seem to delight the childish denizens of MySpace.
I debated whether to investigate further. Perhaps this was just a phishing style spam intending to get me to visit the site to disavow having enrolled. But, if it was then I was happy to doff my cap to these wily cheaters, and allow myself to be gulled just this once.
You can imagine my surprise when I connected to this web site to find that this site which claimed to allow Adults to Find new Friends turned out to be, in its own words, "The World's Largest Sex & Swinger Personals Community. Not so mature after all!
Going back to the email which had landed in my inbox, it congratulated me on allegedly joining this website (let me emphasise, in case there is any ambiguity, that I had not), and confirmed my username and password. Again, I pondered the possibility that this was all a very elaborate scheme to verify that a live human was reading the email (if someone were to attempt to log in with the details provided it would confirm human involvement and potentially launch a deluge of spam). But, my curiousity was piqued -- I am by nature a very curious person, as people who know me have often commented -- so I went ahead and logged in with the details given.
It turned out to be a sort of dating site, but with a rather different list of hobbies and interests to those one is wont to find on more mainstream sites. And the account I had appeared to be real: some idiot had set up an account on this website, but given my email address instead of his own. Of course, I had no choice but to ferret around for salacious details of this individual. Thus, for your delectation, I give you every detail I can find about this person (warning: contains some strong language and some unnecessary censorship of identifiable details).
The user name used is "gmoney" followed by four digits.
He describes himself as a man who wishes to meet a woman, or a couple (of two women) for "a discreet relationship".
He has filled in a profile, which reads as follows:
Looking for some new lady friends
Hey there! I'm a hard working man, enjoying what I have but looking for more. I'm your typical down-to-earth man, always treating people with respect and honesty. I get along best with people who want sex 24-7. For me a perfect date is one where we wake up even hornier than when we fell asleep. The philosophy I live by is always keep striving. Goals are checkpoints, not finish lines. I want to fuck all the good looking women in sight without worrying about what happens next. My friends call me a charmer who's always dependable. If you contact me bear in mind that I'm just looking for a fuck buddy, not a soulmate. I look forward to setting up our first rendezvous. I'm not changing my life, I'm just trying to make it more interesting.
Got that ladies? Sounds like a real catch! Just in case it's not clear what he wants, he helpfully clarifies:
Looking for someone to have fun with at dinner and out and about and have some great sex
Onto the physical details. He's very coy, preferring not to divulge any personal details about how to contact him. But we do learn that his birthday is in December, he was born in 1982, and he is 6 foot tall, and he lives in Snoqualmie, Washington State. Nice! Alas, he has not yet posted a photo, so I'll just have to log back in later to see if anything new develops there. In fact, apart from this, it seems that there is no further information about our new friend Gmoney.
But what's this? Despite only joining this afternoon, he already has some messages from other users. Both are automated replies from other users. I wish that I could recover the messages that he sent, but these do not seem to show up. So instead, I can tell you only that "amatuerporngrl (23F)" said "I wuill reply may not be today or even tomorrow but gimme some time". And "Shaved_001 (30F)" sent back "Thank you for your interest and response! I understand your anticipation....
I will reply back to you as soon as I can!". How tantalizing! I guess I will have to keep logging in again for further updates.
Well, I must be supposed to read this, after all, the log in details were sent to my email account. Good to know that the Internet is being used to help all kinds of people get together and find new interests.