Death To Telemarketers

This is the peril of moving house: your phone number changes. And so, one is cursed with telemarketers who insist on calling with witless requests. One of the good things here (well, I suppose in some countries it is not necessary, but still), is the existence of the federal "Do Not Call" list, which allows one to register a number on a list so that these people will stop bothering me while I'm trying to work.

The only drawback, and it's a big drawback, is that it takes up to three months for this list to get updated with the new data. And so, I am cursed to deal with this irritant for another two months. (I'm not an idiot; as soon as I got my new number from the phone company I went straight to the FCC website to register my number, which was about three weeks before I actually got phone service).

So, in the meantime, you just have to deal with them one by one. Each company is supposed to have a 'do not call' list of their own, which they must also respect. Here is my most recent exchange:

"Hello?"
"Hi, I'm calling from the New York Daily News and Post, and we have a special on for home delivery for only 99cents..."
"No, I'm not interested. Please add my number to your do not call list."
"But it's a really good offer..."

[This I found particularly cheeky. I don't know if this kind of cajoling is in their script, but it's pretty damn obnoxious either way. I know these people calling are on commission, so it's in everyone's interests if we get this exchange over with as soon as possible, and they move on to irritating some more gullible fool]

"No! I asked you to add my number to your do not call list. Thank you---goodbye!".

I don't remember ever having this bother much in Britain, but maybe I got lucky. No idea how they got my number so quickly, unless it was someone else's number in the past who didn't register it.