Good news everyone. AOL Time Warner Brothers (now simply known as "Oops") have obligigly provided me with a new free CD offering a million hours free on their network. This provides the opportunity to laugh at the surreal imagery conjured up by the passwords they list:

PING-SWAN: Which is a cruel trick to play if you ask me. Reminds me of The Story of Ping actually, which is famous for the reviews it has got on Amazon.

Actually, it also has the unintentionally hilarious review: "To avoid a little spank on the back...Ping...gets in what could be serious trouble. This is NOT a book about capital punishment: The spank is NOT a punishment; it's a reminder to Ping that you need to pay attention to what's going on around you and to try as hard as you can to do your best..." Remind me not to allow this reviewer to administer discipline to any children that I might be in posession of in the future.

Secondly, JADE-EXAM. Which is either a careful examination of a precious stone, or something that the Big Brother gynaecologist hoped that he would never have to do.