Stamford, CT. Wikipedia.org has announced a radical new policy of "editing reality" in order to ensure higher accuracy of the encyclopedia. Founder Jimmy Wales explained, "For too long Wikipedia has tried to maintain accuracy by continually editing pages on a website in order that it accurately reflects reality. However, this requires a large amount of effort, including long drawn-out edit wars, fighting vandalism, updating to reflect current events, and standardizing writing style. Nowadays, everyone just assumes that Wikipedia is accurate, and so it's a lot of hassle doing all this work. Eventually, we realized that it would be much easier just to leave the articles as they are, and instead change real-world events so that they accurately reflect their description on Wikipedia."
Apparently inspiration for this new policy came when a Wikipedia vandal claimed that a wrestler's wife was dead when in fact, she was. The idea that a vandal would change Wikipedia, and that reality would then change to accommodate the edit was seen as a great new policy for the encyclopedia. The outlaw Jimmy Whales then immediately froze all articles, declared that Wikipedia was complete, and in the event of any discrepancies between Wikipedia and reality, clearly reality was in error, and would be amended accordingly.
A number of other celebrities whose deaths were recorded as having happened at the time of the freeze are said to be in fear for their lives.