20070121

So special, so unique, I don't forget it

I visited my local bizartshouse multiplex to watch a double bill of movies principally concerned with the daughter of the US president dating: "First Daughter (2004)" and "My Date with the President's Daughter (1998)". So here's my capsule summary of the two:

Plot described in terms of other movies and TV shows that the lead actors have been in:
FD -- Joey from Dawson's Creek leaves the sleepy rural idyll when her father is elected President. Four years later, it is re-election time, and she is about to start college at 'Redmond University' (which is presumably some kind of special Microsoft training academy). There she runs into Riley Finn from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who quickly woos her. But he hides a dark secret: he is part of a secret government agency, known only as 'The Initiative' dedicated to fighting the vampires and demons that stalk the night. When she discovers the truth, will their relationship be able to survive?

MDWTPD -- The brother of the kid from 'Boy Meets World' is something of a loser, hanging around the mall with his friends and practicing magic tricks. But then he accidentally gets himself a Date With The President's Daughter, which leads to all kinds of crazy hijinks and escapades in a G-Rated, Disney produced kind of way. But he hides a dark secret: he has a bet with his friends that he will have a date at the dance that night and, apparently having never seen any of the dozens of teen romantic comedies which use exactly the same plot point, explains this to his date. When she discovers the truth, will their relationship be able to survive?

Quality of the opening title sequence
FD -- A fairy tale like scene, as the voice over intones the story of "a little girl who lived in a big white house".

MDWTPD -- Hallie wakes up and complains about how much she has to do that way as the camera pulls back to reveal... her bedroom is in the White House. We then break into quite possibly the worst movie song ever. I later discover that rather being the shameful work of a passing session band, this is actually the work of genuine nineties band 'Presidents of the United States of America' (ha! do you see what they have done there). It's hard for me to describe quite how awful this song is. Until and unless I can be bothered to work out how to upload vidjos to youchoob, you will have to settle for just the lyrics:
My date with the President's daughter
My date with the President's daughter
Oh, yeah
My date with her

So happy
It took all night
I felt so good

We took the Oval Office by surprise
You should have seen the Secret Service agents' eyes
His jaw must have dropped about a hundred yards
When we stole her daddy's big, bad car

My date with the President's daughter
My date with the President's daughter
Oh, yeah
My date with her
So special
So unique
I don't forget it
My date with the President's daughter

Although, nit-picking fans will note that in the film is the boy's father's car that is stolen.

Level of ease with which the Secret Service is evaded:
FD -- Unlikely
MDWTPD -- Implausible

Frequency of jokes about how the secret service guys all wear black suits all the time
FD -- High
MDWTPD -- High

Secret Service code name for the First Daughter
FD -- Lucky Charm
MDWTPD -- Snow White

References to FBI running covert background checks on principal characters
FD -- Several
MDWTPD -- Several

Character there solely for Comic Relief
FD -- Amerie, who plays the unsuspecting fun loving college roommate of the president's daughter. You know, Amerie, as in "It's just 1 thin' that got me trippin'".
MDWTPD -- The food obsessed, sassy talking, younger sibling of the kid who played the brother of the kid from Boy Meets World.

Action which the male lead must perform in order to prove his manliness
FD -- Riley Finn makes sure Joey gets in a car when their is a minor traffic accident in their general vicinity.
MDWTPD -- The kid who played the brother of the kid from Boy Meets World has to beat up a motorbike hoodlum who is trying to kiss the president's daughter against her will at a sleazy party.

Precise moment at which the female lead learns the dark secret of the male lead
FD: 1:06 / 1:44
MDWTPD: 1:07 / 1:28

Single point of greatest implausibility in the whole movie which is pretty damn implausible the whole way through
FD -- Riley Finn (who was playing a TA in Buffy in 1999) is enrolled in a Freshman English class (he's 32), starts dating Joey who also a frosh (she's 26) with her roommate Amerie (who is also 26).
MDWTPD -- the President and the dad of the kid who played the brother of the kid in Boy Meets World sneak out of the white house dressed as waiters in order to try to find their kids (and then someone mistake another couple for them because this couple are wearing similar clothes to what their children are currently wearing despite the fact that those clothes were brought subsequent to when they last saw them).

Re-election prospects of the president
FD -- Throughout the movie we see groups of protestors complaining about the incumbent's social policy; his daughter's JennaBushish antics cause a three point drop in the polls, but at the end he is re-elected and gives a victory speech influenced by the homespun wisdom of his daughter.
MDWTPD -- Throughout the movie, we see groups of protestors complaining about the incumbent's social policy. After all the antics and adventures, the father of the kid who played the brother of the kid from Boy Meets World decides to switch his vote. So, er, that's one extra vote. We don't get to see the result of the election, but I'd say there's pretty poor prospects for a second term.

Not to be confused with:
FD -- Chasing Liberty
MDWTPD -- Every teen comedy ever made ever.

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