Hey, I know that each new Harry Potter book is bigger than all previous books combined, but this does seem to be taking things to extremes:

Hardcover: 8095 pages . (Unless of course they've fixed it by now).

But does anyone actually know what the order of the phoenix is? Presumably it's something like "Oi! Get me out of here, I'm covered in hot ashes!". (perhaps it came from the giblet of fire?).

Similarly, for a while I was convinced that the second book was Harry Potter and the Secret of Chambers. The secret presumably being how they manage to get people to keep buying their wantonly difficult to use dictionaries.