Hello again. I finally got around to ordering the signs. Hope they arrive in time.

Now, it's yet another lollystickjoke:

Why did the boy stare at the automobile's radio?
He wanted to watch a car-tune.

Painfully bad as usual, but also hopelessly antiquated as these things seem to be. Who says "automobile" in this century anyway? And besides, technology is rapidly making the whole premise for this pun obsolete. Here, I've spruced this up a bit to make a more 21st Century version:

Why did the boy stare at the car's DVD player screen?
He wanted to watch a cartoon.

There you go!

Now, if like me you have a perfect memory of Radio 4 comedy/satires, you'll remember the On The Hour sketch featuring Alistair Cooke Live In Central Park. Well, almost as bizarre as that idea is the following prospect: Zadie Smith, Live in Central Park (July 24). Regrettably, I'll be out of the country at the time. Ah well.

Now, the main reason that I started this site was to put up a hitcounter thingy that would also record any interesting or amusing google searches that people have used to get here. Well, google finally indexed this site at the beginning of the month, and recently I started getting hits. So, in a pathetically self-referential fashion, I look at the list of queries and try to figure out exactly how far down the listings you have to go before Page Rank gets fooled into thinking that this page is a remotely useful resource. So, in a hopefully rare feature, we present "Where this page comes in Google when you search for search terms that people have used to get here with at to by for".


Faircall - 79th result Surely the person searching didn't want to read an irritating blog entry about puns on swearwords.
Sex Bloggs - 49th result This was probably some perv who was frustrated in his quest for some Red Shoe Diaries Diary action. Here's a tip kids: learn to spell. You never know when it will come in handy. Um. Maybe "come in handy" is not the right phrase to have used in this context.
Spear of Destiny Bottom Drawer ep - 5th result Goodness only knows what this poor chump was looking for, but they didn't find it here.
Lolly Stick Joke - 2nd Hit Ace! I'm the second hit in google for the phrase "lolly stick joke". My only regret is that there are only two hits for this phrase, meaning it used to be a googlewhack. What do you call it when you write down a googlewhack on another web page so that it will no longer be a googlewhack? Is it a googlewhackoff?
And finally...
Dude, You're Getting Adele - 1st and only hit Yes, bizarrely, I've coined a googlewhack (which must be a googlewhack job). Quite why anyone searched for this phrase without having seen it on this site I'm not sure, but it's equally implausible that anyone would use it as a search term to get here. Ah well. The mysteries of life.