but I do.
"There was a little old lady she was walkin' down the road she was struggling with bags from Tesco
There were people from the city having lunch in the park I believe that is called al fresco"
and
"all the magazines talk about weight loss
if I buy those jeans I can look like kate moss"
I mean, the home page is on Mice Pace, for goodness sake.
20060427
The iPod Economy
I am impelled (or possibly compelled) to ask, when did we enter an iPod based economy? Over the past year or so, I've noticed a gradual trend in the economy in which all goods and services are gradually becoming replaced by iPods.
It all started in terms of incentives: suddenly, the prize to every competition is an iPod. Enter this simple text quiz (only 50p per message) and win an iPod! Call this premium rate phone number and win an iPod! At work, there was a system set up to encourage new product ideas to be submitted. To encourage participation, all suggestions were put into a raffle, and the winner got... an iPod. I'm going to a one day research workshop tomorrow where students are encouraged to put up posters on their work. The best poster will win a prize -- which is an iPod. Check out all those borderline-illegal websites, that used to popupad you with claims that you could "get a free laptop" or whatever; nowadays these are uniformly all "get a free iPod".
Why? Who decided that it was better to have an iPod than the equivalent amount of cash (a few hundred dollars)? Why do people seem to find it more exciting to get an iPod when, if the statistics are to be believed, we all own 0.9 iPods each already. I have my own (non-apple produced) digital music hard-disk player, which I carefully chose after deciding that the iPod didn't have the combination of features that I wanted. Why should I feel that it's worth dropping everything to enter a competition to win an iPod? What if I already had one, why would I want another? If things carry on like this, we'll all have a hundred iPods each.
And then I realized -- we are entering an iPod economy. At some point in the next few years, we'll reach a point where we all do have a hundred iPods, and so they will lose all value as a music player, and instead take on a new value as a novel currency. The dollar and the Yen will crumble and fall, and we will instead transact all our business by exchanging iPods (worth approximately $300 each). For smaller units of currency, the sub-unit of the iPod will be the iTunes, conveniently pegged to 0.99USD, for relatively easy convenience of exchange.
Shortly after, we'll get fed up of humping around these large lumps of plastic and metal, and start issuing convenient paper/plastic based-iPod surrogates, readings "I promise to pay the bearer the sum of 0.5 iPods and 99 iTunes", with the grinning face of Steve Jobs glistening in a hologram on one side, and custom messages from U2 engraved onto the back. And so the whole evil scheme will come to pass, and apple's secret masterplan will finally take effect. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to head off now -- don't suppose you could lend me an album* till the weekend?
1 album = 10 iTunes = $9.90
It all started in terms of incentives: suddenly, the prize to every competition is an iPod. Enter this simple text quiz (only 50p per message) and win an iPod! Call this premium rate phone number and win an iPod! At work, there was a system set up to encourage new product ideas to be submitted. To encourage participation, all suggestions were put into a raffle, and the winner got... an iPod. I'm going to a one day research workshop tomorrow where students are encouraged to put up posters on their work. The best poster will win a prize -- which is an iPod. Check out all those borderline-illegal websites, that used to popupad you with claims that you could "get a free laptop" or whatever; nowadays these are uniformly all "get a free iPod".
Why? Who decided that it was better to have an iPod than the equivalent amount of cash (a few hundred dollars)? Why do people seem to find it more exciting to get an iPod when, if the statistics are to be believed, we all own 0.9 iPods each already. I have my own (non-apple produced) digital music hard-disk player, which I carefully chose after deciding that the iPod didn't have the combination of features that I wanted. Why should I feel that it's worth dropping everything to enter a competition to win an iPod? What if I already had one, why would I want another? If things carry on like this, we'll all have a hundred iPods each.
And then I realized -- we are entering an iPod economy. At some point in the next few years, we'll reach a point where we all do have a hundred iPods, and so they will lose all value as a music player, and instead take on a new value as a novel currency. The dollar and the Yen will crumble and fall, and we will instead transact all our business by exchanging iPods (worth approximately $300 each). For smaller units of currency, the sub-unit of the iPod will be the iTunes, conveniently pegged to 0.99USD, for relatively easy convenience of exchange.
Shortly after, we'll get fed up of humping around these large lumps of plastic and metal, and start issuing convenient paper/plastic based-iPod surrogates, readings "I promise to pay the bearer the sum of 0.5 iPods and 99 iTunes", with the grinning face of Steve Jobs glistening in a hologram on one side, and custom messages from U2 engraved onto the back. And so the whole evil scheme will come to pass, and apple's secret masterplan will finally take effect. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to head off now -- don't suppose you could lend me an album* till the weekend?
1 album = 10 iTunes = $9.90
20060426
Tomb Aker
Mobile phones, eh? Apparently not content with making people's lives a misery by encouraging people to shout in public, the latest gimmick is to broadcast loud annoying tinny music in public places. The US is a few years behind the UK, and is more inclined to seclude people off, so it was something of a shock to get on a bus in Manchester, and be accompanied by a soundtrack of badly reproduced hip-hop. Maybe what made this particularly unexpected was that it was emanating from the device of a young fellow in the company of his son, which isn't the behaviour you expect from parents. It was surprisingly invasive, but my british heritage meant that I did not ask him to reduce his volume. Besides, apparently simple requests like this are practically an invitation to have your fingers hacked off with a machete.
Another way in which britain is leading the world is the ability to send a text message to a landline, and a clever system arranges it so that the text message is read out by Tom Baker. Obviously, it's not actually read out by the real Tom Baker, sitting in a box calling numbers and reading them out himself, that would be ridiculous. It's actually read out by Jon Culshaw. This was initially such a success that I began to worry that this would spread further: imagine every recorded announcement in the country being read by Tom Baker: the "Please listen carefully as our options have changed" message, the "Cashier number two please" messages, the "we apologize that the 3.17 to Cleethorpes is running seven hours later, we are truly very sorry indeed". I had visions of fleeing through a town centre, pursued by the incorporeal spectre of Tom Baker in every shop and on every corner.
But apparently this is not to be; apparently, Tom Baker has been axed (although, thankfully, not macheted). Alas, poor Tom.
I wonder if you can get his voice for computers? The idea of the Doctor instructing me to "In 0.3 miles, turn left" on the GPS system rather appeals.
Another way in which britain is leading the world is the ability to send a text message to a landline, and a clever system arranges it so that the text message is read out by Tom Baker. Obviously, it's not actually read out by the real Tom Baker, sitting in a box calling numbers and reading them out himself, that would be ridiculous. It's actually read out by Jon Culshaw. This was initially such a success that I began to worry that this would spread further: imagine every recorded announcement in the country being read by Tom Baker: the "Please listen carefully as our options have changed" message, the "Cashier number two please" messages, the "we apologize that the 3.17 to Cleethorpes is running seven hours later, we are truly very sorry indeed". I had visions of fleeing through a town centre, pursued by the incorporeal spectre of Tom Baker in every shop and on every corner.
But apparently this is not to be; apparently, Tom Baker has been axed (although, thankfully, not macheted). Alas, poor Tom.
I wonder if you can get his voice for computers? The idea of the Doctor instructing me to "In 0.3 miles, turn left" on the GPS system rather appeals.
20060423
This is not a game
I'm back from my European Vacation. I have just won at getting out of the airport. I am the best at this.
I used to be quite relaxed about getting out of the airport. When air travel was novel, I wouldn't rush, but would take my time. These days, I find travel increasingly tedious (to the extent of fantasizing of a Nero Wolfe-style existence where I never have to leave my own home), and so aim to minimize the time between wheels-down and getting my backside onto my couch at home. I suppose it's a result of living so close to the airport, that I know that it should be possible that leads me to strive to optimize the journey. I think I've now almost perfected it, since on this trip I managed to get back to my home roughly thirty minutes after the scheduled arrival time. I got a little help from an early arrival, but was otherwise unaided.
There are a couple of fairly obvious steps involved. First, is to only bring carry on luggage. This means no waiting around at baggage reclaim, and also reduces the opportunity for evil thieving airline operatives for stealing your stuff. Next is to make sure you get from the plane to immigration as quickly as possible. Partly this reduces the time, but mostly because if you hit immigration at the back of three hundred people off a 767 you can have a very long wait. So walk swiftly from the plane to immigration, and you can usually get almost to the front (don't run; this looks suspicious, and they may shoot you). Because the trip is a long one (this gives the airline more time to shift baggage to reclaim, a recent trick), you can usually overtake a lot of people here. Look out for shortcuts: I haven't spotted any at EWR, but I know of two at LGW, where you can take a side route, and go up or down some stairs, instead of going along a very long and gently sloping ramp (this bit always reminds of a Doom level, at least in the abstract).
So, having set a new record for getting home from the airport, I'm still knackered with jet lag, and probably will be so for the rest of the week. Ah well.
Other observations:
* The woman next to me on the flight spent the entire seven hours working her way steadily through a giant book of Sudoku puzzles, all of which (that she did) were categorized "easy". Why? What's the point of that? Surely the appeal of following the very simple procedure required to solve 'easy' puzzles must pall after a few hours?
* The in-flight entertainment had an entire channel devoted to House. Yippee! Of course, I'd seen all the episodes (they had three episodes from the end of season one on a continuous loop), but it was good to see them again. Points of note: for some reason (rights?) they had changed the theme music to something that didn't even remotely sound like Teardrop. You occasionally see DVDs of TV shows where they note that they don't have the original music, but this is the first time I've really noticed it.
Second, in one episode House sends his team to check out something in Short Hills (which is close to where I live, and one of the most expensive towns in America), and they complain, since it is a two hour trip. He also intructs them to keep the receipts from the tolls. This is weird, since to get from Princeton to Short Hills is much more like a 1 hour drive, and there's no need to go on a toll road: you can do 202/206 to 287, then along 78. I suppose they are thinking of Route 1 to the Garden State, but then you spend so short a time on the Garden State, that the toll is only about 70c, so it's hard to see why it would be worth keeping the receipt. Maybe that was the joke, but I think it's just another example of the pitfalls of pretending that House takes place in New Jersey when it's made in California.
I used to be quite relaxed about getting out of the airport. When air travel was novel, I wouldn't rush, but would take my time. These days, I find travel increasingly tedious (to the extent of fantasizing of a Nero Wolfe-style existence where I never have to leave my own home), and so aim to minimize the time between wheels-down and getting my backside onto my couch at home. I suppose it's a result of living so close to the airport, that I know that it should be possible that leads me to strive to optimize the journey. I think I've now almost perfected it, since on this trip I managed to get back to my home roughly thirty minutes after the scheduled arrival time. I got a little help from an early arrival, but was otherwise unaided.
There are a couple of fairly obvious steps involved. First, is to only bring carry on luggage. This means no waiting around at baggage reclaim, and also reduces the opportunity for evil thieving airline operatives for stealing your stuff. Next is to make sure you get from the plane to immigration as quickly as possible. Partly this reduces the time, but mostly because if you hit immigration at the back of three hundred people off a 767 you can have a very long wait. So walk swiftly from the plane to immigration, and you can usually get almost to the front (don't run; this looks suspicious, and they may shoot you). Because the trip is a long one (this gives the airline more time to shift baggage to reclaim, a recent trick), you can usually overtake a lot of people here. Look out for shortcuts: I haven't spotted any at EWR, but I know of two at LGW, where you can take a side route, and go up or down some stairs, instead of going along a very long and gently sloping ramp (this bit always reminds of a Doom level, at least in the abstract).
So, having set a new record for getting home from the airport, I'm still knackered with jet lag, and probably will be so for the rest of the week. Ah well.
Other observations:
* The woman next to me on the flight spent the entire seven hours working her way steadily through a giant book of Sudoku puzzles, all of which (that she did) were categorized "easy". Why? What's the point of that? Surely the appeal of following the very simple procedure required to solve 'easy' puzzles must pall after a few hours?
* The in-flight entertainment had an entire channel devoted to House. Yippee! Of course, I'd seen all the episodes (they had three episodes from the end of season one on a continuous loop), but it was good to see them again. Points of note: for some reason (rights?) they had changed the theme music to something that didn't even remotely sound like Teardrop. You occasionally see DVDs of TV shows where they note that they don't have the original music, but this is the first time I've really noticed it.
Second, in one episode House sends his team to check out something in Short Hills (which is close to where I live, and one of the most expensive towns in America), and they complain, since it is a two hour trip. He also intructs them to keep the receipts from the tolls. This is weird, since to get from Princeton to Short Hills is much more like a 1 hour drive, and there's no need to go on a toll road: you can do 202/206 to 287, then along 78. I suppose they are thinking of Route 1 to the Garden State, but then you spend so short a time on the Garden State, that the toll is only about 70c, so it's hard to see why it would be worth keeping the receipt. Maybe that was the joke, but I think it's just another example of the pitfalls of pretending that House takes place in New Jersey when it's made in California.
20060410
I'm not here
As of, ooh, about now, I'm offline with only sporadic attempts at checking stuff. I certainly won't bother to update this thing until the end of the month.
20060409
Halcali Stike Back!
You'll remember that my favourite Japanese J-pop/hip-hop/rap/female duo is Halcali, a pair of boiler-suit wearing young things who rock out with an awesome mix of smooth grooves and English/Japanese lyrics that make little sense in either language.
I first mentioned them back in December '03 (wow, such a long time ago!). When I got the chance to visit Japan in 2005, I made sure to buy a copy of their second album (for about $29, CDs are expensive in Japan), but I've still never managed to give you a good idea of what they sound like or how ace they really are.
Well, now thanks to the magic of the internet you can. Prompted by a recent Boing-boing post (I read it to keep abreast of what was posted on digg the week before), I discovered that while there aren't many places you can easily download their music, if you check out YouTube and related sites you can find loads of their videos painstakingly digitized by obsessive fans typing in codes to recreate the music and visuals needlework-style. Head over there right now, and see what you've been missing!
I first mentioned them back in December '03 (wow, such a long time ago!). When I got the chance to visit Japan in 2005, I made sure to buy a copy of their second album (for about $29, CDs are expensive in Japan), but I've still never managed to give you a good idea of what they sound like or how ace they really are.
Well, now thanks to the magic of the internet you can. Prompted by a recent Boing-boing post (I read it to keep abreast of what was posted on digg the week before), I discovered that while there aren't many places you can easily download their music, if you check out YouTube and related sites you can find loads of their videos painstakingly digitized by obsessive fans typing in codes to recreate the music and visuals needlework-style. Head over there right now, and see what you've been missing!
So much to say, but no time, no time
Evening all. As I have repeatedly told you, yet still you don't listen, I'll be travelling from Monday, and hence have too much to get done before then to waste my time talking to you. I did have a lot of things stacked up to mention, but I can't be bothered to say these in any detail, so I shall make brief notes and allow you to fill in the rest:
* The White House, like most US homes, is surprisingly open in contrast to the UK preference for fences and hedges surrounding to ensure privacy. Standing either in front or behind the thing, you can pretty much see all the way in. There are, however, snipers patrolling nearby rooves in case you get any funny ideas.
* The NSA have a big sign on the highway that says "NSA - this way". I thought that they were more circumspect than that. But, I didn't follow it, so maybe it was a trick.
* Babies really do look like Winston Churchill
* Speaking for three hours starting at 6.30 in the evening is less exhausting than you would think, at least at the time. I had expected to feel remarkably tired by the end, but was actually quite awake. When I got home, I was happy to sleep for hours on end and do no work the next day.
* Getting minor fixes to teeth at the dentist is actually less painful than a regular checkup, since they give you anaesthetic for the work, whereas there is no relief from the scraping they do when checking for problems.
* It is possible to put twice as much work into a five minute presentation than for a three hour one.
* I am in the process of being bought by the French.
* Going to important meetings means that you don't actually get any work done since you spend a long time preparing and travelling, so you still feel tired and worn out as if you had. But you realize at the end that you've accomplished nothing useful in a couple of weeks, which is frustrating. It therefore seems a good idea to take some time off and restart on return.
* People who don't indicate when changing lanes really annoy me. Are there some places in the world where this activity is not illegal?
* Despite all these asterisks, I don't actually have anything much to say.
* The White House, like most US homes, is surprisingly open in contrast to the UK preference for fences and hedges surrounding to ensure privacy. Standing either in front or behind the thing, you can pretty much see all the way in. There are, however, snipers patrolling nearby rooves in case you get any funny ideas.
* The NSA have a big sign on the highway that says "NSA - this way". I thought that they were more circumspect than that. But, I didn't follow it, so maybe it was a trick.
* Babies really do look like Winston Churchill
* Speaking for three hours starting at 6.30 in the evening is less exhausting than you would think, at least at the time. I had expected to feel remarkably tired by the end, but was actually quite awake. When I got home, I was happy to sleep for hours on end and do no work the next day.
* Getting minor fixes to teeth at the dentist is actually less painful than a regular checkup, since they give you anaesthetic for the work, whereas there is no relief from the scraping they do when checking for problems.
* It is possible to put twice as much work into a five minute presentation than for a three hour one.
* I am in the process of being bought by the French.
* Going to important meetings means that you don't actually get any work done since you spend a long time preparing and travelling, so you still feel tired and worn out as if you had. But you realize at the end that you've accomplished nothing useful in a couple of weeks, which is frustrating. It therefore seems a good idea to take some time off and restart on return.
* People who don't indicate when changing lanes really annoy me. Are there some places in the world where this activity is not illegal?
* Despite all these asterisks, I don't actually have anything much to say.
20060402
Bad Memories
Or, to be more precise, bad memory. Regular readers will recall the excitement a few months back surrounding my inestimable computing device, and a stick of faulty memory, which led to monotonously regular encounters with the fabled BSOD. (I wonder if you can get a BSOD on BSD?). Well, I still have the dodgy stick, although it currently resides on a table rather than in the computer, and consequently leads to gar fewer crashes.
I really ought to get around to complaining to someone that this memory broke -- after all, it did set me back a fair amount (about $80, I think). But the process is just so long and ill-defined that I'm not sure I can be bothered to initiate it. And then after a while, it becomes to late to do anything. I have a similar problem with one of my credit cards, who ripped me off for 25 GBQ (Great British Quid) when I failed to pay the minimum balance one month -- as best as I can reconstruct events, I had set the payment up in a web browser, but must have failed to click through the half-dozen or so "confirm" screens that seem tobe required, and instead got distracted with something else. Such is the danger of today's multi-tasking world. I meant to get around to calling them up and demanding that the fee be reimbursed, lest I take my custom elsewhere. But, I never did, and it's now been too many weeks to reasonably get away with this trick.
This is how businesses make money: the rely on the laziness and ineptness of their customers. The old couple who still pay $20 / month to rent a phone because they never check their bill. The credit card fraudsters who post spurious charges. Unscrupulous service providers who move you onto a higher service tier that you don't really need.
Someone messed around with time today (they did it last week in Europe), and my body is thoroughly confused as a result. I think I'll take a nap. See you later or, as I must now perforce say, au revoir.
I really ought to get around to complaining to someone that this memory broke -- after all, it did set me back a fair amount (about $80, I think). But the process is just so long and ill-defined that I'm not sure I can be bothered to initiate it. And then after a while, it becomes to late to do anything. I have a similar problem with one of my credit cards, who ripped me off for 25 GBQ (Great British Quid) when I failed to pay the minimum balance one month -- as best as I can reconstruct events, I had set the payment up in a web browser, but must have failed to click through the half-dozen or so "confirm" screens that seem tobe required, and instead got distracted with something else. Such is the danger of today's multi-tasking world. I meant to get around to calling them up and demanding that the fee be reimbursed, lest I take my custom elsewhere. But, I never did, and it's now been too many weeks to reasonably get away with this trick.
This is how businesses make money: the rely on the laziness and ineptness of their customers. The old couple who still pay $20 / month to rent a phone because they never check their bill. The credit card fraudsters who post spurious charges. Unscrupulous service providers who move you onto a higher service tier that you don't really need.
Someone messed around with time today (they did it last week in Europe), and my body is thoroughly confused as a result. I think I'll take a nap. See you later or, as I must now perforce say, au revoir.
20060329
Constant factor approximations
I was looking forward to a peaceful week of doing nothing and getting paid for it, but someone had to go and fire up the bat signal, so I will have to drop everything and rush down to the nation's capital to take up the baton of the defense of the nation with only a positive semi-definite matrix to wield. Plus, the dentist wants to smash m teeth in, and the vet wants to spike the cat. (not to be confused with Spike the Cat; that's a different blog).
So how do I distract myself from getting anything useful done? I try to get car insurance. It's a process that makes you doubt the efficient market theory. I'm currently paying about 1500 currency units per time period. So getting quotes for equivalent policies from different providers, you'd expect them to fall tightly clustered around this, wouldn't you? Well, you might, but apparently nothing is that simple. The data points I have are (in sorted order) 900, 1100, 1300, 1500, 1700, 2200 , and 3600. That's a factor of 4 between the cheapest and most expensive. What particularly amuses me is the eagerness of the folks trying to make me pay four times as much as anyone else. "Click here to buy this policy right now!" they shriek through their website and HTML-ised emails (why do people insist on sending email in HTML? Especially without plain text alternatives? Don't they realize that I hate them?). As if paying this much for the privelege of insurance is likely to be a sufficient inducement.
Anyway, the moral of this story is, shop around. Fifteen minutes could save you... 75% or more on your car insurance. (remember, I did promise more posts about cars, and I hope I am fulfilling on that commitment).
So how do I distract myself from getting anything useful done? I try to get car insurance. It's a process that makes you doubt the efficient market theory. I'm currently paying about 1500 currency units per time period. So getting quotes for equivalent policies from different providers, you'd expect them to fall tightly clustered around this, wouldn't you? Well, you might, but apparently nothing is that simple. The data points I have are (in sorted order) 900, 1100, 1300, 1500, 1700, 2200 , and 3600. That's a factor of 4 between the cheapest and most expensive. What particularly amuses me is the eagerness of the folks trying to make me pay four times as much as anyone else. "Click here to buy this policy right now!" they shriek through their website and HTML-ised emails (why do people insist on sending email in HTML? Especially without plain text alternatives? Don't they realize that I hate them?). As if paying this much for the privelege of insurance is likely to be a sufficient inducement.
Anyway, the moral of this story is, shop around. Fifteen minutes could save you... 75% or more on your car insurance. (remember, I did promise more posts about cars, and I hope I am fulfilling on that commitment).
20060327
Spammers who can't even spam
Why is it that spammers are so incompetent? I've just received a slew of messages from "[%from_name%]" <[%from_email@]>, To: <[%to@]>. It's like they're not even trying.
I also got a spammy phone call from Chase (probable the real Chase as opposed to the phishers since they knew my name and card number) trying to force their "Identity Protection system" on me. For only $8 a month, they will make a token effort to stop my card details getting stolen. Surely this is a basic function of the service they are meant to be providing? My mind keeps turning back to Offensive_Mango's epic put-down Congratulations on doing your job. Once..
And the other day I got a call from some dodgy opinion pollsters. At least, I think they were pollsters, sometimes you get calls from people asking you a series of loaded questions so that the final one is (to paraphrase) "Well, since you seem to feel so strongly about this issues, I suppose you'll want to give us some money then"?
They got off to a bad start by asking to speak to the lady of the house; when I explained that this would have to be me, they grudgingly accepted me, muttering that this would only take 90 seconds of my time. Then the script went off on a long ramble along the lines of "Many mothers are becoming increasingly concerned that TV ratings are becoming increasingly lax, and that they are permitting too much to be shown. Do you agree with this?" Now, I'm still smarting from the FCC's illogical decision that it's not allowed to show teenage orgies on Network TV, no matter how educational they are. So I began to reply "No. Actually, I think that there isn't nearly enough sex and violence on TV and that there should be a lot more...", but before I had finished, the caller had hung up on me. Honestly, that wasn't even close to my promised 90 seconds. How rude!
I also got a spammy phone call from Chase (probable the real Chase as opposed to the phishers since they knew my name and card number) trying to force their "Identity Protection system" on me. For only $8 a month, they will make a token effort to stop my card details getting stolen. Surely this is a basic function of the service they are meant to be providing? My mind keeps turning back to Offensive_Mango's epic put-down Congratulations on doing your job. Once..
And the other day I got a call from some dodgy opinion pollsters. At least, I think they were pollsters, sometimes you get calls from people asking you a series of loaded questions so that the final one is (to paraphrase) "Well, since you seem to feel so strongly about this issues, I suppose you'll want to give us some money then"?
They got off to a bad start by asking to speak to the lady of the house; when I explained that this would have to be me, they grudgingly accepted me, muttering that this would only take 90 seconds of my time. Then the script went off on a long ramble along the lines of "Many mothers are becoming increasingly concerned that TV ratings are becoming increasingly lax, and that they are permitting too much to be shown. Do you agree with this?" Now, I'm still smarting from the FCC's illogical decision that it's not allowed to show teenage orgies on Network TV, no matter how educational they are. So I began to reply "No. Actually, I think that there isn't nearly enough sex and violence on TV and that there should be a lot more...", but before I had finished, the caller had hung up on me. Honestly, that wasn't even close to my promised 90 seconds. How rude!
20060326
20060321
Rude Awakenings
I've already complained before about my PORN doorbell (note: it stands for "Press Once, Rings Non-stop", in case you were wondering). Well, in the intervening six months neither me nor my invisible landlord has done anything about it since then. Recently, this has become less than convenient.
Last week, I was roused from well-deserved slumbers at the unheathen hour of 2am (I'd been asleep for all of ninety minutes) by my rasping doorbell. In a state of some confusion I rushed downstairs assuming it to be some pressing emergency, to find a young lady (somewhere between fourteen and forty in age, I being not suffiently awake to know fully what was going on). She enquired after C---- B-----, B----- being the surname of the lady who lives on the floor below me, but C---- being a male name. Still befuddled, I tried to explain that the B----- family were to be found on the 2nd floor (or, in Europe, first floor) and that I lived on the 3rd floor (europe: second floor). I allowed her access to the building and gestured in the general direction of the B----- front door and slunk off to bed.
I couldn't get back to sleep for about an hour, since my brain had woken up sufficiently to wonder if letting her in was the appropriate etiquette, but not being inclined to do anything about it, I merely ensured that all my doors were double locked, and lay in bed.
Then today the buzzer went again. This time it was 8am, at which time I would usually just be rising, but abnormally for me I was up and about, and just finishing my breakfast cuppa. Wondering who it could be this time (probably the meter reader), I went down again, and found someone peering through the glass of the front door. Opening the door, I was a little taken aback to see a uniformed police officer. Was it the feds, finally infuriated by my snide comments on the political administration come to fit me up for the orange pajamas? Actually no, he was looking for C----- B----.
Once again, I indicated that I was unable to provide this individual, but he might try his luck on the second floor (EU: 1st). I felt less guilt about showing him the way to their front door before again retreating to my abode to finish eating my morning jam sandwich. Still, this leads to more questions: who is C----- B-----, and why is everyone looking for him? Were the two visits connected? Why does everyone insist on ringing my doorbell when they actually want someone on another floor?
I don't know, but I'm wondering if this will force me to finally get around to repairing the buzzer. Maybe this won't solve the problem of unwanted people ringing me at all hours of the day or night. Unless I electrify the buzzer. Maybe I'll try that. The only reason I need a buzzer is for when UPS delivers my latest Amazon shipment, I don't particularly want to hear from anyone else. If I could only arrange for them to leave the packages on the doorstep, maybe I should just cut the wire entirely...
Last week, I was roused from well-deserved slumbers at the unheathen hour of 2am (I'd been asleep for all of ninety minutes) by my rasping doorbell. In a state of some confusion I rushed downstairs assuming it to be some pressing emergency, to find a young lady (somewhere between fourteen and forty in age, I being not suffiently awake to know fully what was going on). She enquired after C---- B-----, B----- being the surname of the lady who lives on the floor below me, but C---- being a male name. Still befuddled, I tried to explain that the B----- family were to be found on the 2nd floor (or, in Europe, first floor) and that I lived on the 3rd floor (europe: second floor). I allowed her access to the building and gestured in the general direction of the B----- front door and slunk off to bed.
I couldn't get back to sleep for about an hour, since my brain had woken up sufficiently to wonder if letting her in was the appropriate etiquette, but not being inclined to do anything about it, I merely ensured that all my doors were double locked, and lay in bed.
Then today the buzzer went again. This time it was 8am, at which time I would usually just be rising, but abnormally for me I was up and about, and just finishing my breakfast cuppa. Wondering who it could be this time (probably the meter reader), I went down again, and found someone peering through the glass of the front door. Opening the door, I was a little taken aback to see a uniformed police officer. Was it the feds, finally infuriated by my snide comments on the political administration come to fit me up for the orange pajamas? Actually no, he was looking for C----- B----.
Once again, I indicated that I was unable to provide this individual, but he might try his luck on the second floor (EU: 1st). I felt less guilt about showing him the way to their front door before again retreating to my abode to finish eating my morning jam sandwich. Still, this leads to more questions: who is C----- B-----, and why is everyone looking for him? Were the two visits connected? Why does everyone insist on ringing my doorbell when they actually want someone on another floor?
I don't know, but I'm wondering if this will force me to finally get around to repairing the buzzer. Maybe this won't solve the problem of unwanted people ringing me at all hours of the day or night. Unless I electrify the buzzer. Maybe I'll try that. The only reason I need a buzzer is for when UPS delivers my latest Amazon shipment, I don't particularly want to hear from anyone else. If I could only arrange for them to leave the packages on the doorstep, maybe I should just cut the wire entirely...
Born To Pun
I don't know about you (at all -- in fact, who are you? Go away and leave me alone), but I've always had a soft spot for the early Bruce Springsteen hits -- and in particular Born to Run:
In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
He conjures up an alluring vision of speeding through the rugged hearland of America, in the dark of night on a throbbing motorcycle, tearing through wildeness and then through the heart of a city, mostly asleep, but parts just seething with restless energy.
The problem is, I went on Highway 9 yesterday. The US does tend to recycle road numbers rather heavily, but I'm pretty sure it's the same one, since I was visiting Freehold, which happens to be The Boss's place of birth. And I have to say, it really doesn't live up to its reputation. Highway nine is the kind of road that seems particularly special to New Jersey: two lanes of traffic in each direction with a concrete bollard in between, it limply winds its way down south through the sparsely populated sub-suburban sprawl of semi-rural towns. Along each side it's peppered with seedy strip malls, decrepit movie theatres, retirement homes and golf courses. Born to Run you may be, but unless you want a ticket from the donut chewing cops, you'll have to stop every five minutes at the traffic lights that control the jug handles, New Jersey's unique answer to the problem of how to make a U-turn when you realize that the thing you want to get to is on the other side of the road. All the glamour of the storied America from my youth in this song turns out to be defined in tacky neon and mouldy plastic edifices.
Still, it got me out of the house, so mustn't grumble.
In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
He conjures up an alluring vision of speeding through the rugged hearland of America, in the dark of night on a throbbing motorcycle, tearing through wildeness and then through the heart of a city, mostly asleep, but parts just seething with restless energy.
The problem is, I went on Highway 9 yesterday. The US does tend to recycle road numbers rather heavily, but I'm pretty sure it's the same one, since I was visiting Freehold, which happens to be The Boss's place of birth. And I have to say, it really doesn't live up to its reputation. Highway nine is the kind of road that seems particularly special to New Jersey: two lanes of traffic in each direction with a concrete bollard in between, it limply winds its way down south through the sparsely populated sub-suburban sprawl of semi-rural towns. Along each side it's peppered with seedy strip malls, decrepit movie theatres, retirement homes and golf courses. Born to Run you may be, but unless you want a ticket from the donut chewing cops, you'll have to stop every five minutes at the traffic lights that control the jug handles, New Jersey's unique answer to the problem of how to make a U-turn when you realize that the thing you want to get to is on the other side of the road. All the glamour of the storied America from my youth in this song turns out to be defined in tacky neon and mouldy plastic edifices.
Still, it got me out of the house, so mustn't grumble.
20060317
Ooh, Chase Me!
OK, now here's a more interesting phishing attempt. It tries to take advantage of the fact that there are so many phishing attempts out there:
Chase has been always striving to present its customer the best
service. We recognize how important it is to protect your identity from
unlawful use, and shield your accounts from fraud and unauthorized access.
Having this in mind Chase has launched a new security system which is completely COST-FREE. Even more - Chase is awarding a BONUS of 25$ for the first subscribers of this service (the amount will be credited to each account you subscribe).
In order to proceed, please input your account number and your security verification:
which is slightly wilier than the "$20 survey" versions. It then does something slightly odd: it uses Google as a redirection service, by linking to the following URL: http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.golfcourseonlineisback.com
I've no idea what this redirection achieves, unless it's to defeat simple antiphishing checks. Doesn't make much sense to me yet. Amusingly, the message ends:
Please note - Chase will NEVER ask you to input personal information
by phone or by e-mail: Social Security Numbers, Personal Identification Number
(PIN), Card Verification Number (CVV). If you find any type of suspicious
activities please contact us immediately.
Which is pretty rich coming from someone trying to steal your log in details.
Chase has been always striving to present its customer the best
service. We recognize how important it is to protect your identity from
unlawful use, and shield your accounts from fraud and unauthorized access.
Having this in mind Chase has launched a new security system which is completely COST-FREE. Even more - Chase is awarding a BONUS of 25$ for the first subscribers of this service (the amount will be credited to each account you subscribe).
In order to proceed, please input your account number and your security verification:
which is slightly wilier than the "$20 survey" versions. It then does something slightly odd: it uses Google as a redirection service, by linking to the following URL: http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.golfcourseonlineisback.com
I've no idea what this redirection achieves, unless it's to defeat simple antiphishing checks. Doesn't make much sense to me yet. Amusingly, the message ends:
Please note - Chase will NEVER ask you to input personal information
by phone or by e-mail: Social Security Numbers, Personal Identification Number
(PIN), Card Verification Number (CVV). If you find any type of suspicious
activities please contact us immediately.
Which is pretty rich coming from someone trying to steal your log in details.
Scam of the day
Today's Chase website is at "http://211.173.213.8/%20%20/chasesurvey.
chase.com/reward. This is getting a bit tired, you'd think they could come up with something new.
I feel like seeing a film this weekend. I think I'll choose between V for Vendetta and I for the Engine. Probably the latter.
chase.com/reward. This is getting a bit tired, you'd think they could come up with something new.
I feel like seeing a film this weekend. I think I'll choose between V for Vendetta and I for the Engine. Probably the latter.
20060316
Drugs
Here's a tip you might like to take notice of: if you're feeling a little fragile in the morning as you go about your morning routine, and a report comes on the radio containing an indepth interview with someone who witnessed the sudden onset of illness of those poor chaps who took part in the Drug Trial from hell... it might be a good idea to turn the radio off and do something else, instead of listening to the blow by blow account of something that sounds worse than a particularly gruesome episode of ER...
Today's chase survey scam site is at http://chase-login.survey-service.us . Don't fail to miss it.
Today's chase survey scam site is at http://chase-login.survey-service.us . Don't fail to miss it.
20060315
Word of the day
Your word of the day is hosptical, which someone used in an email to me today. It's not quite as popular as the related hostipal.
See also: hampster; skellington.
See also: hampster; skellington.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
