A hasty vaguely topical rewrite. It's not perfect but hey, you're not paying for this, so why are you complaining?

To the tune of Billie-Jean.

She told me her name was Billie-Jean, and she was nineteen
So I logged off and booked a flight, thinking she was the one
When I met my little pet on the net

Nobody ever warned me, be careful on the web
And don't believe in the young girl's profile
I should have Googled for her, before I fell in love
And be careful on the web or you're labelled 'paedophile'

That Shevaun was not my lover
She's a schoolgirl who came from Manchester
But I really do protest, er,
It was all in jest, I never did molest her

For four days and a few more nights
The law was on our trail
Paris, Stutgart and then to Frankfurter
I never hurt her
When I met my little pet from the net
Now take my wisdom sage, remember to check her age (check her age)

Nobody ever warned me, be careful on the web
And don't believe in the young girl's profile
She said that she had to come clean
As the cops began to call
I lost my little Billie-Jean ---
No b-j at all

That Shevaun was not my lover
She's s a schoolgirl who came from Manchester
But I really do protest, er,
It was all in jest, I never did molest her
(repeat to fade)