I've been tidying the apartment, and in the course of it have turned up dozens of discarded lolly sticks in all manner of places: one inside hughanchor (see, the problematic memory stick was actually a lolly stick), down the back of the couch, stuck to the cat, piled up in front of the door, and so on. So here's a big catch up. Some may be repeats, in which case, too bad.
First, I've noticed a certain trend for tedious literality: consider
Q: What has two banks and no money? A: A river
Q: What is the most important thing you need when you go skateboarding? A: Your skateboard.
Not so much jokes, more plain statements of the obvious. Next, a couple that are just unlikely combinations:
Q: What has spots and rids on a fire truck? A: A fireman with measles.
Q: What has wheels and a trunk but no engine? An elephant on roller blades.
Note for non-US readers: a trunk is Americian for a boot. Hence, an appropriate anglicizes version of the above joke is as follows:
Q: What has wheels and a boot but no engine? An elephant wearing a boot on roller blades.
Which is about as funny as the original, ie not.
Rounding off the batch, more unfunny half-attempts at puns:
Q: How do you avoid ticks on your pets? A: Don't let them have a watch
Which is a common problem I understand.
Q: What did the hamburgers name their daughter? A: Patty
This relies on knowing that the uncooked meat formed into the shape of a hamburger in preparation for cooking is referred to as a patty. No reason why you should know this. Also, not entirely sure how hamburgers are meant to procreate, but I suppose that is left up to your imagination.
Q: Why were the refrigerator foods afraid? A: The milk went bad and turned rotten.
I don't think I've ever heard of rotten milk. For something to go rotten, there has to be something to rot, and I can't really visualize that.
Q: Why did the computer squeak? A: Somebody stepped on the mouse.
And presumably someone had configured the system to make sounds when the mouse was moved. Nothing surprising there.