who is this you are weird i dont get what u are trying to say

Apparently there is something of a craze for giving names to celebrity couples based on combinations of the two people's names. Current popular amalgams include Bennifer, TomKat, Brangelina, and Spudulica. One wonders what could have happened if this had been in vogue in the past: Charles and Diana could have given us China, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers would have been Finger, even Adam and Eve could have got in on the act, and given us Edam.

More recently, Courtney Cox and David Arquette would give us DayCourt (as opposed to Night Court, I suppose); Richard and Judy would be Rudy (incidentally, I seem to have a message for you, Rudy, so if you can get in touch I can pass it on); Posh and Becks give us the Pocks; Madonna Ciccone and Guy Ritchie would become MacaRonie (maybe) and Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker would be, er, Mattress, or something.

I thought this was very much a recent preoccupation of the tabloid newspapers with nothing better to do, but I just discovered that I'm living next to a town that got its name in precisely this way. I'd occasionally wondered how Florham Park got its name, since Florham is something of an unusual word. It turns out that it was named after Florence and Hamilton Twombly, who were the local extremely wealth patrons. Now, that's real star power: getting a whole town named after you.

A comment has poured in, which demands an answer. courtney cox gilchrist writes in to say:

who is this you are weird i dont get what u are trying to say

To which I reply... actually, I can't be arsed. Courtney, my fine young fellow (or possibly lady, I'm not up on the latest hip names these days), this is the World Wide Wedge, and I'm under no obligation to explain myself, respond to comments, or make an effort to be easily understandable. In return, you are under no obligation to use punctuation, grammar, capital letters or correct spelling.

That said, I quite like the breathy confusion of this comment. Perhaps I'll adopt it as the new motto for this place. Unfortunately, you're one syllable short of a haiku (that's not a euphemism, the message is 16 syllables long). Perhaps it works better as a four lines of four syllables? who is this you / are weird i dont / get what u are / trying to say. No, still not great -- you need to work on your metre.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Popular" linux distribution "debian" gets its name this way. True story.