EULA's theorem

These days, to submit a paper to a database conference, you have to agree to an EULA -- an end user licence agreement. This is all a bit silly. Obviously, no one sane actually bothers to read these. I read them all the time. Here are some highlights from the current boilerplate text

There are no continuing obligations or expectations placed on you. There is no penalty for stopping use of CMT.

Obviously false -- if you don't use the CMT, then you can't submit a paper. If you stop using the CMT, then you are unable to read and respond to any 'author feedback' phase, or read reviewer comments.

By selecting "I agree to the Author's statement", I acknowledge I have read the above information and that I am 18 years or older.

Why are conferences discriminating against child prodigies?

you agree that you will not use CMT for any purpose that is unlawful, harms Microsoft or any end user or other third party

So I am not allowed to submit a paper which demonstrates a bug in Microsoft software, or shows that some alternate piece of software is much better than a Microsoft product? Both of these could be said to "harm" microsoft.

Hmph.